Getting What You Deserve – Heartnotes

Getting What You Deserve

I have spent a great deal of time in my life wondering why I didn’t get the good I felt I deserved.  I read a lot of self-help books–and they went on and on about building up your self-esteem, etc. etc.  OK, that did help, but I still felt a distinct lack of justice operating–my life didn’t seem to get permanently better.  I felt like I was playing Whack-A-Mole.  And as I looked at the world around me, the pain suffered by others, much worse than my own pain, was obvious.  I couldn’t buy into the twisted version of metaphysical spirituality that held that if you were having a problem it was because you were “thinking wrong” or “paying off old karma.”  That sounded to me a lot like a new-aged version of old-fashioned hell and damnation.  My life transformed–and continues to–as I decided to go my own way.  I chose to face, as frankly as I could, my own wounds while holding fast to my belief in a God of Love that was bigger than all of it.  It has worked.  And I am deeply grateful.  God has provided companions along the journey–a variety of other free spirits who are determined to find and live the gift of their own lives.  I came to believe that our problems, whatever they may be, are ours because we raised our hands (metaphorically speaking of course ?) when God asked who was willing to heal a particular human heartache.  I began to see difficulties as an honor–an opportunity to find God’s Presence in the midst of our own darkest valley.  If things aren’t going right in our lives, it doesn’t mean we are doing something wrong.  Rather it means that we are learning to come up higher, to love ourselves more fully, to connect with the people or work or situation that deeply fulfills us.  It means we are participating in bringing forth a world that honors and values everyone.  How?  Because finally we get it that God really is Love.  Now that’s getting what you deserve!

In the Love and Light of the Christ,

Rev. Anna

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